Magical Road Trip Team
by CheekyAmerican
Summary: The giant chessboard and its players are living in the Forbidden Forest following the Battle of Hogwarts. The young pawns want to go back to the castle and have asked for help from Ron Weasley and the Ford Anglia. They load up the car and head for the castle; they have embarked on a Magical Road Trip.


Magical Road Trip

Team: Falmouth Falcons

Position: Chaser #2

Author's Note: I am Chaser #2 for the Falmouth Falcons. This is written for the Semi-Finals of the QLFC. My prompt is: Write from the point of view of the Giant Chessboard.

My optional prompts are:

4\. (word) sly

9\. (quote) "I'm not so good with advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" - Chandler Bing, _FRIENDS_

12\. (word) costume

Magical Road Trip

Hagrid dropped the trunk he had been carrying. "There's some clothing in here," he said. "They were costumes for plays, but Professor Flitwick said you could have 'em. Help keep the young 'uns warm."

"Thank you, Hagrid," Chesterton said. "I know they will be appreciated."

"How about yourself, Chesterton? How do you stay warm?"

"As a chessboard made of wood, I am rarely cold. I understand that marble or glass chessboards have more difficulty if they are out of doors. But the younger ones, the pawns, well, it is more psychological than physical, I suspect."

Hagrid nodded and said, "That makes sense. Now, is there anything else I can do for ye?"

"Yes, there is, and thank you for asking. As you know, we received permission from Headmistress McGonagall for any of the chess pieces who wished to move back into the castle. Going through a war has changed all of us; the majority of my people prefer the freedom of the forest, but for the younger pawns, they feel vulnerable and unsafe.

"I understand," Hagrid said.

"We would like to ask Ronald Weasley to help us return to the castle."

"You would?" Hagrid's eyebrows shot up.

"Angie has agreed to transport the pawns and their guardians—and both the Chess People and Angie trust Ron—so he is the one we have chosen to assist in this journey."

"Well, I can see the sense of that, yes, I can. I will be happy to ask him; when would you like to go?"

"As soon as possible," Chesterton said. "Now that the decision has been made, some of the pawns are becoming anxious about waiting."

Hagrid nodded. "I will send an owl today."

* * *

After a long and strenuous hike, Ron and Hagrid came upon the Giant Chessboard.

"It looks even bigger than the last time I saw it," Ron said.

"Yep," Hagrid said. "He's been growing; I think it's because of the sunlight."

The chessboard was nestled between three trees, with a sizeable number of shrubs and bushes surrounding it. It looked like it was home.

"Ah, Ronald," Chesterton said, "It is a privilege to see you again. I cannot thank you enough for coming to our aid."

"Uh, well, uh, hello to you, too," Ron said. He looked around the chessboard, and Chesterton knew he was searching for his mouth.

Chesterton laughed and said, "You won't see a mouth because I have none. I am communicating on a higher plane."

"Oh," Ron said, still looking around the chessboard.

Hagrid burst out laughing. "Higher plane, that's a good one. Got you there, Ron."

Ron turned toward Hagrid, his face beginning to blush red.

"Don't be cross with our over-sized friend here," Chesterton said. "His habit of accepting beings for what they are allows him access to most of the people and various ways of communication in our world."

Several pawns ran and launched themselves onto Hagrid, shouting cries of welcome. Hagrid grinned from ear to ear, and dug his hands into his pockets. "Here you go, little ones. I brought a few sweets for you," he said as he handed out hard candy to the littlest pawns.

"They look like baby pawns," Ron said.

"They are," Chesterton said. "Where do you think big pawns come from?"

"Never gave it a thought, really," Ron said.

"And now let us leave that thought behind completely and discuss the reason you are here. We can't thank you enough for responding to our plea for help."

"Where did the name Chesterton come from?" Ron asked abruptly.

"You know of the famous author, GK Chesterton?"

"That might be familiar," Ron said, shrugging.

"It is a small joke of mine, the word play of chess and the author Chesterton, but it turns out that the joke is so small, I am the only one who understands it." Chesterton gave a little laugh, then said, "Although, Dumbledore understood it immediately."

"He would," Ron acknowledged.

"It's time to be moving on," Hagrid said, striding back to Ron and Chesterton. He set the pawns on the ground and looked up to see the Ford Anglia pulling up. "Ah, Angie has arrived."

"Hello Angie," Ron said, and the little car honked back.

Chesterton explained that several of the Knights were coming along as security, and one of the Queens was going along to supervise.

"How long will the trip take?" Ron asked.

"Depending on your speed, if you hurry, you'll make it before nightfall."

No one relished the thought of spending the night in the Forbidden Forest, even if it was inside a magical car with several knights as security.

"All right, let's load 'em up and move 'em out," Ron called.

"Oh, how very western frontier you sound," Chesterton said and laughed. "May I introduce Her Majesty, the White Queen."

The Queen had been expecting the usual bow but frowned when Ron put out his hand. Thankfully, the young man recognized his mistake and pulled his hand back; he then gave her a deep, respectful bow. When he straightened up, the Queen could see him examining her face as he realized that one cheekbone and ear appeared to have been blown off. She could see in his eyes that he understood what she and her people had been through, that they had fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and paid the price. She was pleased that he recognized their sacrifice.

"Your Majesty, this is Ronald Weasley. He will be accompanying you on this trip," Chesterton said.

"I thank you for your assistance, Mr. Weasley," she said.

"My pleasure, Your Majesty," Ron said.

Chesterton then whispered to Ron that for the rest of this trip, he could call the Queen either Your Majesty or Ma'am.

Hagrid gestured to the two knights riding up and introduced them as Sir Reginald Black and Sir Gregory Black. Their sacrifice in the battle was evident; Sir Reginald had a deep wound on his chest, running diagonally from his left shoulder to his right hip. Sir Gregory had lost his chest armor, his helmet, and a piece of the back of his head. Ron bowed to both men.

The knights dismounted and were shepherding the group of pawns and one rook who were returning to the castle. The rook looked the worse of the lot; he had lost one arm and both legs and was in a wheeled chair.

"Don't feel pity for me, son," the rook said, as he introduced himself as Sir Michael. "I gave much worse than I got and now I'll take care of these young ones back at the castle."

"Never crossed my mind, Sir," Ron said.

"During this trip, the Queen is merely here to supervise. You and I are expected to take care of the pawns," Sir Michael said.

"Understood, Sir," Ron said.

There were six pawns returning to the castle, four black and two white. All of them had small nicks and cuts, but overall were not in terrible shape. Several of the pawns were shaking, and they were being comforted by the others. All of them had suffered, whether physically or mentally.

At first the Queen didn't see how they would all fit into the car, but they did, and quite easily. Leave it to her friend Angie, she thought. Most of the remaining chess pieces came to send them off. Black and white, they were now one big family, and she found herself looking forward to this magical road trip. Of course, none of them had ever been on a road trip before, so they knew nothing about what was to come…

* * *

After making sure that the pawns and Sir Michael were settled in the back, the Queen waited by the passenger door as Ron came around and opened it for her. Then he got into the driver's seat. The knights would be riding one on either side of the car, and the Queen felt satisfied with the arrangements.

"You may leave when you are ready, Mr. Weasley," Her Majesty said.

Ron felt proud that he had been asked to help; here he was, in a magical car, taking Chess People back to Hogwarts. It felt good to be doing service for his school. He slipped the car into gear, and off they went.

The goodwill in the car lasted seven minutes.

Ron examined what looked like a compass on the dashboard. It was round and had markings on it but not conventional directions. One line said Hogwarts, another line said Hagrid's Hut, another line said Lake, and so on.

"Well, we just follow the compass to Hogwarts and we'll be just fine," Ron said, looking at the Queen and smiling.

"Not if you don't keep your eyes looking ahead we won't," said the Queen.

"Angie has never let me down before," Ron said.

"Do you intend to disagree with me on this entire trip?" the Queen asked.

"Oh, no, Your Majesty, I'm… I'm very sorry," Ron said.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" asked one of the pawns.

"No," Ron said, "we've just started. It will be a while."

"How long a while?" asked another pawn.

"I don't know, exactly," Ron said.

"Why don't you know?" asked one of the pawns.

"Because I don't know the forest that well," Ron said. "but we will be there before dark."

"How long until it's dark?" asked another pawn.

"I don't know, exactly," Ron said with a falsely cheerful voice, looking at the pawns in the rear view mirror.

"Watch out!" yelled the Queen, scaring Ron so badly he veered off the path, narrowly missing a very large oak tree.

Angie stopped in time but gave a few angry honks.

"Why did you yell like that?" Ron asked the Queen.

"I thought you were going to hit that tree, and you almost did," the Queen said.

"Not until you yelled, which startled me so badly I almost hit that tree," Ron said. "Please don't do that again."

"I will not be spoken to in this manner," said the Queen.

Sir Michael knew when to intervene. "Why don't we sing a song?" he suggested.

"That's a great idea," Ron said. "What songs do you know?"

"Oh, we know many marching and fighting songs," Sir Michael said. "They are inspirational, and we sing them when training and on the battlefield."

"Why don't you sing Christmas Day In The Workhouse? That's one of my favorites," the Queen said.

Sir Michael turned to face his pawns, and they began to sing. Nice tune, Ron thought, until he listened to the lyrics:

 _When up spoke Private Shortarse_

 _His face as bold as brass_

 _Saying, "You can keep your Christmas pudden; you can stick it up your arse."_

What kind of song was this? Ron could hardly believe his ears; it was rude. He had been expecting something uplifting. Ron looked at the Queen who had pulled something out of her bag and was quietly knitting away, and... was it possible… the Queen was humming along with the tune?

Onto the next verse, yes, that will be better, Ron thought.

 _Asking "What do you want for Christmas, Boys?"_

 _And the eunuchs answered_

" _Balls!"_

Ron blushed scarlet from head to toe, but he couldn't say anything if he tried, his throat was so dry. Just keep driving, he thought, just keep driving. This will be over soon...

"Ah, those were the days," the Queen said wistfully. "When men were men and women were happy."

 _Oh, she's pretty sly, isn't she?_ Ron thought. She's taking the mick out of me, that's what she's doing. Well, I will not let her get to me.

Thankfully the song ended, but sure enough, they launched into another bawdy marching song. They sang for more than an hour, and Ron just had to grin and bear it.

When the pawns finally ran out of steam and stopped singing, peace reigned again.

For about half an hour...

One of the pawns started yelling, "He's hitting me!"

"No I'm not," the other pawn said. "He's getting in the way of my fist."

The pawns all laughed at the cleverness of their fellow pawn.

Ron knew that the Queen was not supposed to help, but he snuck a peek at her anyway and realized that she had fallen asleep.

"Settle down back there," Ron called.

"Make us," a pawn yelled back.

"Hey, you little…" Ron yelled. "Don't make me stop this car."

Sir Michael gave a little cough. When he was sure that he had Ron's attention, he said, "What would you do if you had to stop the car? Idle threats are not going to work on these pawns."

Ron bit his lip. "Then what should I do?" he asked.

"I don't know," Sir Michael said. "What would you suggest?"

"I'm not so good with advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" Ron said.

"Oh, you're too clever by half, my good man," Sir Michael said, and laughed.

The pawns laughed as well, and the happy mood remained in the car for another twenty minutes. But the goodwill went the way of all good things while on a road trip, and tempers flared again.

"If you don't put that finger down, I will break it off," said one of the pawns.

"I'm not touching you," the other pawn protested.

"But if I move my head even an inch, your finger will then become lodged inside my nose, and that would be intolerable."

"I am not responsible for your actions."

"For crying out loud," Ron yelled, looking in the rearview mirror at the squabbling pawns. "Just behave, and keep your hands to yourself."

Sir Michael chuckled. "How's that sarcastic comment working out for you?"

"Don't you start, or I swear I will pull this car over and leave you all right here," Ron said.

Silence fell over the car's occupants as they recognized the tone of exasperation in Ron's voice.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" came a chorus of small, whiney pawn voices.

"No, we're not there yet," Ron said, sliding down in his seat.

"How long until we get there?" came the same chorus.

"I have no idea," Ron said. Turning to the Queen, he spoke in a very loud voice so as to wake her up, "Your Majesty!"

The Queen sat up, and looked around. "What was that you said, Weasley?"

"It's Ron, actually, Your Majesty."

"Oh, I would never assume such intimacy as to forego the use of your surname. It will be Weasley or Mr. Weasley."

"Of course, Your Majesty," Ron said. "Do you know where we are?"

Looking around, she said, "I have no idea where we are. Maybe Angie knows?"

Concentrating on a deep, cleansing breath, Ron then addressed the dashboard. "Angie, how long until we get to the castle, please?"

A slight shiver went through the car, then through the radio came an eerily mechanical voice, saying, "Two hours."

The Queen immediately clapped her hands in delight, crying out, "I knew you could do it, Angie, I knew you would be capable of speech if you kept at it. Bravo my dear friend, bravo!"

The pawns were cheering and clapping each other's back and calling out, "Yeah Angie."

Ron leaned forward and patted the dashboard, softly saying, "Way to go, Angie. That's my girl."

Angie was clearly delighted with the praise and gave several celebratory hoots of the horn.

Somehow, the rest of the trip didn't seem too long, possibly because the pawns promptly fell back asleep and stopped fighting with each other.

* * *

Breaking out of the forest into the sunlight and the manicured grounds of the castle, they all gave a cheer. Angie deposited her passengers safely at the doors of the castle. After Ron and Sir Michael had ushered all the pawns inside, the Queen went back to the Ford Anglia. Rubbing her bonnet, she said, "You were wonderful! I can't thank you enough for helping, my dear girl."

With a shiver, then a flash of her headlights and a toot of her horn, Angie swung around and returned to the forest. The Queen looked up at the castle and smiled; they had all survived their first road trip.


End file.
